Jesus Loves Crying Babies and So Should You

By Matt Watson

On one weekend this past February, my wife, my infant son, and I were camping with three other couples. One couple had an infant just a few months younger than my son Sam, and the other two couples are expecting. It got cold during the night and our babies, used to warm beds and thermostats, naturally let us know they were uncomfortable. I was worried Sam’s fussing would bother our friends, who themselves were trying to sleep outside in the cold. But then I remembered that the couple there with their baby felt our pain, and the others who were expecting knew they were about to. Even if that wasn’t the case, a crying baby would be nothing to be ashamed about. It’s just life.

When We Welcome Babies, We Welcome Jesus

Mark 9:36-37 provides an account of our Lord’s stance on little children. “And he took a child and put him in the midst of them, and taking him in his arms, he said to them, ‘Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.’”

As with most of his teaching, Jesus makes a shocking statement that turns our expectations upside down. In a world where children are to be seen but not heard, Jesus’ statement elevates the lowliest. There is nothing more dependent and “lowly” than a baby and their cries are determinedly defiant to etiquette and protocol. They are helpless, drooling little clones of ourselves who act on pure instinct. They are also the most natural, normal, and wonderful “ordinary miracles” of life. Miracles in that the whole concept of reproduction and birthing a human being with a varied mix of mom and dad’s traits is kind of mind-blowing when you think about it for long enough; ordinary in that this is just how God made things and it's been happening since life first started.

It is also ordinary and normal for a baby to cry; no one should be surprised by that. That is simply how God designed the baby to communicate with his or her parents. It is a universal thing. Therefore, parents do not need to be worried about bothering other people when their babies cry, especially at church.

Everyone else at church that has a child also knows exactly what it is like to have a crying child in the worship service. Anyone who does not yet have a child needs to experience said crying baby and be discipled so that when it is their turn they can honor God with how they handle it. Those with babies are teaching those without how to be adults about it. Likewise, parents of older children are teaching those with toddlers, and parents of toddlers are teaching parents with babies. Crying babies are a blessing from God, and hearing them in the worship service should spark praises of joy for the parents.

Options For Our Parents

Nevertheless, the real issue is probably not that your crying baby is distracting others, but rather distracting yourself. In discussing this with our current Kid’s Director Kristen Pudleiner, she told me, “I have learned that while I can focus with other people's babies around me making noise in service, I have been the least focused with my own baby in my lap. I’m figuring out my balance. I want her to be good at attending service some, but I also want to be able to serve or focus on the sermon.”

Parents inherently have an increased self-awareness when their child makes too much noise in a quiet place, yet in a family of grace, those concerns should be lowered. There is no need for insecurity. It is always going to be a tension that parents have to hold between having a baby or child in service, and when to step out of service in an effort to serve their neighbors in the pews.

There must be a guiding framework for navigating that tension: Do unto others. Romans 12:10 ESV says, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Other translations render it, “in honor giving preference to one another.” That means that for the parent, give preference to your neighbor worshipping alongside you, and for the neighbor sharing your pew, give preference to the parent. If we are all trying to outdo each other in showing honor, then there won't be an issue.

Options exist for the parents at our church, and it needs to be stressed that these options exist for you, you do not exist for them (Mark 2:27-28). Parents at The Well have the freedom to go wherever they need to in order to feel comfortable. Hallways, atriums, the courtyard, and the nursing room all exist as a way to serve our parents. The nursing room has a speaker so you can hear the sermon, and it is equipped with rocking chairs and a changing table with diaper supplies ready to go and free to use. And if you desire, we have a dedicated and background-checked team ready to serve you by watching your baby and teaching your older children the gospel through Lifeway’s The Gospel Project curriculum as well as the New City Catechism. We have rooms for babies, with cribs and pack-and-plays, as well as classrooms for toddlers and children in early education. Whatever you need, use it, for it is God’s grace upon you.

The Lord Disciples Us Through Crying Babies

By God’s design and providence, parents are the primary disciple-makers of their children, yet God uses the children to make disciples of their parents. I never realized how mentally weak I was until Sam, who by all accounts is really not a fussy baby at all, screamed for the first time. God is making my wife and me into a better daughter and son by giving us our boy, teaching us how to endure suffering, and having us learn how to parent and raise our child to fear the Lord.

Likewise, God is making disciples of those around you through your parenting. The church is a family of missionary servants who are disciples making disciples, and therefore we grow together and are shaped together as a community of faith through God’s providential gifts of babies and children. In a family, no one should begrudge the cries of their youngest family member, but unite to be a blessing in generational discipleship. Likewise, for the family of God, let us receive crying babies with joy that we may be received by Jesus with joy.