Our First Responsibility
By Matt Watson
Pastor Al provided the thesis statement for this article last Sunday: “A parent’s first priority is to obey Jesus. If you want your kids to obey Jesus, then you need to obey Jesus. You have an obligation to raise your kids under God’s will, Word, and ways. Not the culture’s, not yours, God’s.”
Samson’s mom was barren, but then the pre-incarnate Jesus appeared to her (”the angel of the Lord”) and told her she would have a baby, that he would deliver Israel from the Philistines, and that there were certain disciplines they had to do (don’t cut his hair, don’t touch dead things, eat clean, don’t drink). Later, when her husband Manoah met the angel of the Lord, it was reconfirmed that not only was Samson to avoid such things, but even his mom should avoid them while pregnant with him (Judges 13).
Whose Responsibility?
Here is the big takeaway: It was Samson’s parents’ responsibility to raise him in the ways of the Lord. This responsibility was not given to a local Levite, a priest, a Philistine school teacher praying to Baal or Dagon, nor the neighbors pole-dancing for the Asherah. It was their responsibility to teach him to obey the Lord. Not anyone else's.
That has become increasingly difficult to do in our culture today. Since the 1800s we’ve had state schools taking children out of the home. Since the sexual revolution, we’ve had both parents out of the home working to provide more taxes and GDP. We’ve outsourced parenting to public school teachers, which includes sex education, diet and nutrition, and worldviews. We’ve outsourced discipleship to youth group leaders. And we’ve outsourced discipline to coaches and dance instructors. It’s a neat trap that we've fallen into as a society because it was hidden with terms like “progress.”
And frankly, this can be intimidating because this is the way it has been for decades now. The two income trap is hard to get out of, and for some families it seems like that is the only available option. Call me cynical, but I believe that was set intentionally. Nevertheless, as difficult as our society has made it, discipling your children to love and obey the Lord is not anyone else's responsibility. It’s yours.
Lead by Learning
For some parents, when their child comes up to them and asks a question about the world that they don’t know (or don’t have the patience to answer right then), they may be tempted to tell them to ask someone else. “Let your children’s pastor, teacher, or Young Life leader tell you that.”
Parents, don't give in to the temptation to outsource your obligations. It wasn’t just Samson’s parents’ job to teach him to obey the Lord, but they had to obey him as well. This is true for parents today. We are terrified of not knowing the answer, or looking like idiots when trying to explain it.
How much better is it to admit you don't know an answer, and then to look it up? We all have computers in our pockets that are more powerful than the ones that landed men on the moon. Research is a tap away.
Also, you should start now. Be a sage. Start reading up on different topics like economics, current events, history, apologetics, and theology now so you can be in a better position to teach your child to love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength (Mark 12:28-31). You don’t have to be a scholar or have a seminary degree to answer your child’s questions about God, but you need to read your Bible with intentionality so you can disciple with intentionality.
They are watching
Obeying starts in your household and overflows into your everyday life. Parents, if you are not reading your Bibles, then neither will your kids. If you aren’t praying, then neither will they. If you aren’t studying, researching, and learning things about God you didn’t know before, then neither will your kids. If you aren’t disciplined with your eating, spending, and time, then neither will they.
Likewise, young men and women without children should live now in a way that obeys Jesus’ words, will, and ways. No one is off the hook for spiritual disciplines, nor from making disciples.
My son is two and a half and he is always watching his mother and me. He will pretend to shave in the morning when I am and puts aftershave on his face just like Daddy does. He likes to cook with his mom and help me with the chickens or the garden. He imitates us and repeats us, and in a lot of ways that is terrifying.
That is why he needs to see Mommy and Daddy reading their Bibles. He needs to see us discussing God at the dinner table. He needs to see the men talking to each other and praying together at community group. He needs to see our church family worshiping God by singing together. Because right now he learns from imitation.
It's never too late
Maybe you didn't grow up reading your Bible with your parents, or maybe you have kids and you've never read with them. Start now. God's grace is greater than any failure we can commit. It's never too late to repent, and God is sovereign and can use a late start as much as a proactive one.
For further reading, check out our articles on family worship here and here.
This article was originally published by Matthew Watson with Awake! Put on strength!, and is used under a CC BY-SA 4.0 license.