How Do I Do Family Worship?

By Matt Watson

It is likely that if you have not experienced family worship before, then you probably are not doing it now. If you are a grandparent or a parent of an older child and you think it is too late to start doing this, you are wrong. The great thing about conviction and repentance is that you can start it now; repentance always works in the present tense. Do not worry about doing it perfectly or that your kids do not have the whole Westminster Shorter Catechism memorized yet. Just start. 

Here are five best practices for how to do family worship, plus how to do family worship as an empty nester, a single parent, or a single man or woman.       

Gather often and regularly

There is a rhythm to family worship. It is not occasional, but a frequent and regular activity. The puritans had family worship twice a day in the mornings and evenings. While wonderful and family-oriented, that may be a high bar for people to meet and to keep doing. Daily is a good goal, but if that is difficult to do and keep doing at first, then do it as often as you can (but at least once a week is a good place to start). In his book Family Worship, seminary professor Donald Whitney suggests that these gathered times with our families should be brief (rather than long and tedious), regular, and flexible or adaptable (Whitney 2016, 50).

For example, there may be times when the family is not able to meet at their prescribed time. The head of the household should plan ahead and find a time when the family can meet, perhaps if not in the evenings after dinner, then during dinner, or in the mornings before work and school. As with every discipline that we want to become a habit, if you aren’t intentional with them, then you won't do them. It needs to be cultivated and fought for. It will require work overtime to become consistent, and that is ok.

Read the Bible

This is the first and primary thing that should be done during family worship. Read a chapter, a passage, or a story Bible for kids, whatever works best for the season you are in. Discuss what you are reading together, and explain it so that it is clear. Currently, with my one-year-old, I read a story from The Beginner's Gospel Story Bible. When he gets older, I will advance to the regular Gospel Story Bible. And when he gets older still, he will join my wife and me in reading from our own adult Bibles. 

In addition to this, once a week after my son is asleep then my wife and I have a Bible study where we read a book of the Bible together, working through it by passage rather than just chapters. Do what works best for you to be consistent. 

Pray together

Men should be praying for their wives (even future wives) and women for their husbands. Parents should be praying for and with their children. Do not forget to include the kids in prayer time because God loves childlike faith (Matt 18:3). At first, you will need to guide the children by telling them what to pray for. They will repeat what you say, and eventually, they will have their own prayers to say. But you must teach them how.

With my child, I say a basic prayer of thanksgiving, followed by a plea that God help us love him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Deut 6:4-9; Mark 12:28-34). With my wife, I will often pray through the passage we just read together, praising God with the promises he has made in his Word. Praying through a Psalm is a great place to start if you have not prayed through Scripture before.

Sing

I can match a key ok during congregational singing, but I am not very good at singing on my own. My one-year-old doesn't care though, and neither does God, so I can either recite or sing a hymn or psalm without too much embarrassment. Create a Spotify playlist of your favorite worship songs. Get a hymnal (ask first, but they are often free at your church), and read or sing through it. I earmarked my favorite hymns in a hymnal, which includes the psalter, and sing or read them aloud. Sing a new one each day or sing the same one for a week so the family learns it. 

When I was single I used to try and play the song on my guitar and sing privately in my room. Now I either sing boldly with my wife when I know the song or else giggle with her when I am messing up the melody. Either way, sing.

Catechise

Like family worship, most of us probably did not grow up doing catechisms in our family. The evangelical world tends to view catechisms with suspicion because they feel too rigid or something those kinds of churches do. However, the word catechize means “to teach” in Greek, and it is simply teaching the doctrines of the Bible through a question-and-answer format. Our historical catechisms, confessions, and creeds were just early systematic theologies and were studied seriously by the Reformers and Puritans. Catechisms, creeds, and confessions do not replace the Bible; they point us to the Bible and expound its meaning.

At The Well, we use the New City Catechism. There are 52 questions that the children’s ministry does a lesson on and goes over each week. At home, whatever week we are on at the church, that is the one we read nightly. The children’s version of the catechism has a song to help memorize the question and answer, so we sing that each night as well. 

You should also consider the Westminster Shorter Catechism (or longer if that is your jam), or the Heidelberg Catechism because those are cornerstones of reformed protestant Christianity. There are some artists out there that have put these to music as well if that helps you.

What if I am …

An empty nester? If married, carry on with your spouse doing this as often as you can, if not daily then weekly. If single, then you continue to worship God by being in community with him through the Word, prayer, and meditation in your private devotions.

A single mom/parent? Single moms are the strongest of all of us due to their fortitude. By God’s providence, there may not be a spouse or parent in the picture, therefore, you are the primary disciple-maker. Until God says otherwise, that role is your role. My mother was a single mom for three years, and we listened to records and tapes (I’m that old) of Bible songs for kids and read a story Bible together.

A single man or woman? Prepare for the future by doing the work now. Whether you get married or not, you are a child of God, the sibling of Christ, and thus should be in regular communion with him. You can still read daily, pray daily, sing hymns to yourself or along with music, and memorize catechism questions on your own.

Further Resources

Podcasts: 

If you need more information, then start with these two podcasts because they are great overviews and approachable.

Books:

If you are the sort that wants to dive into a book, then these are my top three recommendations for you. 

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