The Ephesus Dilemma: Fighting Well Without Losing Love
By Matt Watson
If The Well Community Church were to receive a letter from the Lord, I believe it would resemble the one addressed to the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2:1–7. We care deeply about sound doctrine and contending for the faith, but this sometimes leads us toward hardness rather than softness.
A member once mentioned visiting other churches in San Antonio with a friend. He said, "But they were all just milk! No meat at all. The Well is meat."
I replied, "Yes, but we are wild game meat. It's of the best quality—clean and nutritious—but a little tough to chew and potentially has an offensive flavor."
This is the challenge faced by the church in Ephesus and churches today: how to offer meat without being offensive.
The Dichotomy of Truth and Love
The command to speak the truth in love, as stated in Ephesians 4:15, presents a dichotomy. It holds in tension, on one side, contending for objective truth found in the character and person of God, while on the other, displaying love, grace, and mercy. They should not be opposing forces, but we often treat them as either/or choices.
Our "yes" to something—be it people, government, job opportunities, relationships, actions, etc.—must be a "yes" to God, and our "no" to those things must also be a "yes" to God. There can be nothing more loving than agreeing with God. This means loving what God loves and hating what he hates. God loves truth, justice, holiness, a contrite heart, the orphan and widow, and the world, since he gave his only Son to die for it (John 3:16). But he hates sin, "the workers of iniquity" (Ps 5:5), and all things that stand opposed to his Word, will, and ways.
The Confessing Church Against Falsehood
The church in Ephesus was a forward operating base in a region of high importance. It housed a temple to Artemis, one of the Seven Wonders of the World, as well as two temples devoted to emperor worship. Paul had spent several years there, training and building up the church. As Revelation 2:1–7 shows, they stood firm and endured against the overwhelming opposition posed by Ephesus's cultural idols.
Consider emperor worship. It required pinching a bit of incense, throwing it into the altar fire, and declaring, "Caesar is lord." To a polytheistic, pluralistic, and morally bankrupt society, this was a simple act of national loyalty—a pledge of allegiance. Refusing to pinch incense meant you didn’t want Rome and all of civilization to stand. It was seen as unloving toward one's neighbor and a sign of indifference to the well-being of the city and country.
It was against this lie that the true confessing church stood. They exposed false teachers and apostles by testing their words against Scripture. Those who claimed, "Christianity can be this way…" or, "There's nothing wrong with pinching some incense—it cares for the community," were found out. The church hunted the wolves and protected the sheep, and Jesus commended them for it.
For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth…so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith.
2 Tim 3:5–9 ESV
Two Errors in Cultural Engagement
There are two errors in cultural engagement. One is the choice many evangelical leaders make today: seeking the slippery slope of cooperation over confession. They teach the church to be winsome and tender, but sometimes they sacrifice truth by not pointing back to Scripture and challenging sinners to repent. Some pastors even accuse their own churches using the same critical theory rhetoric that the culture levels against them, telling their congregations they are racist or guilty of white privilege. Some have even ceased being God’s churches by pinching incense to the idols of LGBTQ+ ideologies.
The other error is seeing everyone as an enemy. When stuck in combat for extended periods, everything becomes an "us versus them" mentality, and we can lose sight of the true enemy. We must remind ourselves that the war we wage is not against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces.
Contending is combat, and in a culture constantly challenging God's truths, the confessing church must often contend for the faith and the true gospel. But how we do that matters. Jesus tells us to love our enemies (Matt 5:43-48). So there must be a way to fight for truth while loving those against whom you are contending. Balancing the two feels like "missional schizophrenia": unsure of how to respond, angry at what people believe, yet burdened by the consequences of those beliefs.
The Law of Christ Holds the Tension
This is why it's a dichotomy. Two truths that seem opposed are held in tension by the law of Christ. It is true we should oppose sin and contend for the faith, and it is also true we should show love and mercy. But how?
We must first look at our own sin and how Jesus dealt with it. If I don't seek and destroy the sin in my heart, confess it to God, and repent, I am performing eye surgery while blind (Matt 7:5). May I always remember that the cross of Christ put to death not just their sin but my sin (Rom 6:6); the empty tomb means Christ was victorious over my sin, Satan, and death itself (Rom 6:4; Gal 2:20; 1 Pet 3:21); and his ascension to his throne means all things are subject to his lordship (Col 1:16–17; 1 Cor 15:25).
By understanding the depths of my sin and the depths of God's grace toward me, I can better speak God’s objective truth with God’s loving spirit. If you feel the same conviction, join me in regaining a proper perspective of the fight.
Practical Steps for Balancing Truth and Love
Read God’s Word and meditate on it. Know the truth.
Pray for others, not just yourself—it's hard to hate someone you’re praying for.
Ask God to give you the exact words to say when opportunities arise.
Trust in God's sovereignty; your inadequate gospel presentation is not stronger than the gospel itself.
Let us fight well, for it is a fight. Love others enough to confront them about their sin, and love them enough to offer the grace and mercy of God in Jesus Christ. We fail in our mission if we don’t carry it out the way Jesus wants us to.
This article was originally published by Matthew Watson with Awake! Put on strength!, and is used under a CC BY-SA 4.0 license.